What About This…? 1.21.2016

By Wayne William Cipriano

Those fascists that are so well entrenched in our government re­gardless of which party or person we elect to serve us got another gift when the last batch of craven ter­rorist attacks took place.

How eager will we be to sacrifice whatever liberty these fascists hope they can pry from us?  How quickly will we jump into their web of manipulation, terror-struck by hugely notorious events that cannot possibly affect any of us individu­ally –– the precise ends these cowards hope to achieve?

For example, how much talk have you heard about keeping us “safe” by monitoring our communications – listening to our phone calls, viewing our social media?

Well, what is wrong with that? If we are not doing anything wrong, why should we worry who is privy to our calls, looking over our text messages?  Isn’t all this desire for privacy and freedom of expression just a bit much?

I don’t know much about social media but I have a telephone that could be bugged.  Should I be con­cerned?  My calls are pretty bland.  And, besides, “they” cannot possibly have the personnel to listen to all our calls, can they?  They must be forced to rely on eavesdropping computer programs with voice recognition capability to search our communications for certain key words like bomb, gun, explosion, destroy, and so on.  Is that technol­ogy available today?

Should such an unimaginable intrusion on the privacy of our communications ever occur in the far, far future, why not have fun with it?  Should we ever, as impos­sible as it seems today, be faced with such intrusion lemons, why not make recreational lemonade?  Why not turn it into a game?  Why not play “Visit From The Feds”?

Here is how you play:

Select a small number of contestants, say, six or eight.  Each contestant makes one telephone call each day to an old school friend out of state, lasting exactly five minutes. During that call each contestant may use up to five key words (bomb, shoot, kill, etc.) but only in the most passive, non-threatening, peaceful sense possible.  The words could be used thusly:  “That tux you wore to the senior prom was the BOMB.”  “You would never have made it in the NBA if I hadn’t taught you to SHOOT so well.”   “I know you will KILL all of us with your sense of humor at the party.”

Scoring “Visit From The Feds” is pretty simple –– if local law en­forcement drops by, one point; county, two points; state authorities, three points; and a “Visit From The Feds” garners four points.   If you are arrested by persons with no identification at all, five points are awarded, and you hit the jackpot if any two of these unidentified arresting persons are wearing black driving gloves AND balaclavas, TEN points are earned!

Should the old schoolmate you called be visited by authorities, the point system remains the same and these points are split equally be­tween your ex-friend and yourself.

In the case of a tie in point count, the lawyers representing the contest­ants held in custody (if they can be located by their lawyers) will play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine which of their clients wins the game.

However, notwithstanding point count, an IMMEDIATE WINNER is declared if the front door of any contestant is smashed in due to the use of a No-Knock Warrant.

When the fascists convince us to yield our liberty and our privacy so they can “protect” us from these statistically impossible “threats” to your personal safety or to mine, when they ask us to help them bury us in such authoritarian lemons, and we so eagerly agree, why not have a little fun and make lemonade?  Why not play Visit From The Feds?

There isn’t anything else we can do.

Is there?