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The Snoop 7.12.2012

I learned some of the greatest lessons in life from my parents, Sunday school and the Andy Griffith Show.
I am fortunate to be able to visit with my mother almost daily, I attend Sunday school regularly, and thank goodness, the Andy Griffith Show is still on TV, although Griffith passed away last week at the age of 86.
Griffith is one of the great comedian storytellers of all times. Hopefully, the networks will keep his programs playing because he cannot be replaced. So-called entertainers of today don’t know how to tell a story the way Griffith told about the first football game he saw (he thought they spent the entire game fighting for the quarter they used for the coin toss) or his rendition of Hamlet (“They said ‘hark’ a lot back then,” he said). Somewhere along the way, comedians got the idea that vulgar is funny and that the only way to be funny is to be vulgar. How sad, indeed!
Griffith was not only a great storyteller and comedian, but each of his shows had a moral.  Whether it was letting Opie learn how to deal with the orphaned baby birds after he killed their mother with a slingshot, or helping the son of a well-to-do business man realize that if you break a window you have to pay for it.
When Andy and Helen found their way out of an abandoned mine, they put their dirty clothes back on and went back into the mine to be rescued by Deputy Barney Fife so that the well-meaning deputy would be the town’s hero for a little while rather than the bumbling oaf that almost shot his foot off when he put his one bullet in his gun…the bullet that had turned green from being carried too long in his shirt pocket.
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After two weeks of triple-digit high temperatures, a reader shared the following one-liners with us, telling just how hot it has been.
How hot is it?
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
And just how dry is it?
Somebody said they caught a catfish that had a tick on it.
Somebody else said the fish in Bryant are carrying their own drinking water.
I can’t confirm either of those reports.
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If you attended Camp JOY as a child, Darlene Sorensen would like to hear from you.
Darlene is putting together a Jubilee edition of Camp JOY Memories for the 50-year anniversary of the Bible camp at Vera Cruz in 2013.
The camp, which originated with Oscar and Gladys Cunningham and is now operated under the direction of Van Kelly, would like to remodel and enlarge the existing chapel before the Jubilee Celebration.
If you have a story to tell or pictures to share, send them to:
Darlene Sorensen, Route 5 Box 278, Ava, MO 65608; or call her at 417-683-2113.