Home / The Snoop / The Snoop 2.7.2013

The Snoop 2.7.2013

SnoopAfter dealing with some of the weightier issues like gun control and politics, the Snoop decided to take up something a little lighter this week and quote the renown philosopher of our era, Jeff Foxworthy.
Now I don’t know if Foxworthy has relatives in Missouri of if he just knows somebody that lives here. But these tidbits are painfully accurate and who ever wrote them down has most certainly spent some time in the Show-Me State.
Missouri according to Jeff Foxworthy:
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there, you may live in Missouri.
If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Missouri.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Missouri.
If you’ve cut the horns off a road kill deer, you are probably from Missouri.
If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day, you may live in Missouri.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Missouri.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Missouri.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Missouri.
If everyone in your family has been on a “float trip,” you may live in Missouri.
If the phrase “I’m going to the Lake this weekend” has only one meaning, and everyone knows what you’re talking about, you may live in Missouri.
If “Down South” means Arkansas and you know where “Idiots Out Wandering Around” are located, you might be from Missouri.
If  “Vacation” means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags, you might be from Missouri.
If you ever rode a school bus over an hour each way, you might be from Missouri.
If you failed World Geography in school because you thought Cuba, Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri (and they are mind you!), you might be from Missouri.
If you had school classes canceled because of cold, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you had school classes canceled because of heat, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you can recognize whether another Missourian is from the Boot Heel, Ozarks, Eastern, Middle or Western Missouri soon as they open their mouth, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney, George Washington Carver and Mark Twain are all from Missouri, well… you guessed it.
If you know what “Home of the Throwed Roll” means, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you know what’s supposed to be “knee-high by the Fourth of July” you’re probably from Missouri.
If you pronounce Missouri with an “ah” at the end, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you think “deer season” is a national holiday, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you’ve ever said (or heard) “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” you’re probably from Missouri.
If you’ve seen people wear bib overalls to funerals, you’re probably from Missouri.
If your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor, you’re probably from Missouri.
If you’ve seen farmers stop work and remove their hat as a funeral passes by, you’re probably from Missouri.
And most certainly, if to any of the above you say, “Well, what’s unusual about that?”, you are definitely from Missouri.

Comments

comments

About News Server 2